iKittens
by tessellate
Summary: Carly and Sam wake up as KITTENS! HOW WILL THIS MYSTERY UNFOLD? Gen.


iKittens

Clear water rippled gently in a big glass bowl, and Carly's eyes followed a fat orange goldfish as it swam lazily from one side to another. Carly was fairly sure that she was dreaming, because the next thing she heard was a loud hacking cough, and then she blinked and found herself covered in yards and yards of blankets. She was silent at first, as she tried to locate where exactly the coughing was coming from, when she heard a tiny, squeaky voice.

"Holy nubs! That was _gross_!"

Carly gasped, as she saw something begin to wiggle through the miles of blanket. "...Sam? Is that you?"

The wiggling stopped for a second. "Carly?" said the voice, "Where are you?"

"Over here!" Carly squeaked. Which was kind of weird, cause her voice was usually scratchy and low in the morning, but not... "EEEK!" Carly jumped as a tiny yellow kitten face with huge blue eyes burst through a fold in the blankets.

"AAAH!" The kitten head screamed back. "Carly, I think you're a cat!"

"What?!" Carly said, "_You're_ a cat!"

"I'm a... oh." Sam said, "That would explain the hairball."

"Aw, Sam! That's so gross!" Sam shrugged, and Carly stored the information that cats could shrug in her head. Spencer would probably think that that was- "Spencer!" Carly said. "Do you think he's a cat too?"

"Well, there's only one way to tell!" Sam burrowed through the blankets until she reached the end of the bed. "Whoa-oh. Maybe cats was an exaggeration, I do _not_ remember this bed being so high."

Carly followed Sam's path and placed her paws on the edge of the bed peering down. "Well... they say that cats always land on their feet right?"

Sam scoffed, "Then I guess you have no problem with going first?"

Carly rolled her eyes, and looked over her shoulder. If her cat perspective was accurate at all, she figured she was about six inches long, minus the tail. She also had really shiny dark brown fur, which was kind of awesome. But, her bed wasn't any higher than a foot and a half, so she'd only be jumping three times her own length, really... She gulped, and took a step back, planning to do a bit of a running leap, when all of a sudden, her bedroom door flew open.

"KITTENS!" Spencer dropped what looked like a giant blue trowel, and Sam jumped and tumbled off the edge of the bed.

"SPENCER!" Sam yelled from the floor.

"WHO IS SPEAKING??" said Spencer, this time, sounding less delighted.

Sam stalked over to him and pounced, digging her claws in somewhere around his shin. Carly winced. "I did." Sam said.

Spencer's eyes widened, and he shrieked, "DEMON CAT!! WHERE IS MY SISTER!!"

Sam hissed, jumping down from his leg. "She's on the bed. And I'm not a demon cat! I'm Sam!"

Spencer narrowed his eyes, and Carly slowly raised a paw. "Hey Spencer," she squeaked. "Help me down?"

"I... wha..." Spencer opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, before closing his eyes and fainting.

Carly squeaked and jumped off the bed, bouncing and tumbling over the carpet. She pawed at Spencer's face gently, and attempted to wake him up. "Spencer? Wake up! ...Spencer... Um, meow?"

Rolling her eyes, Sam stalked over to Spencer and pounced on his stomach, digging her claws into his soft tummy. He yelped, and his eyes fluttered open. "Huh, I guess this cat thing isn't all bad!" Sam said.

"The cats are still talking..." Spencer said faintly.

Carly sensed that Spencer was on the verge of fainting again, so she quickly turned around and started to wave her tail in front of her brother's face. "Prrrrrrr." she rumbled a soft, rhytmic purr, and waved her tail slowly, watching as Spencer followed it back and forth, enraptured.

Sam looked confused, "Carls what are you-"

"PrrrRRRRRRRR." Carly looked at Sam pointedly, and Sam's little kitten mouth formed an "o" as she turned around and joined Carly.

Soon they had coordinated their tails, and as Carly noticed Spencer's eyes start to glaze over, she slowly turned around. "Spencer," she said quietly, "It's me, Carly."

"B-but.. you're so fuzzy..." Spencer said faintly.

"I know I look like a cat right now, and so does Sam, but I'm trying my very best not to freak out about it."

Spencer nodded, and Sam stretched out, laying her head on her paws on Spencer's chest. "You shouldn't freak out either, we're so cute!" Sam said. "And hungry," she added.

Carly laughed, but it came out as a purr, and that made Spencer smile, finally. "Okay..." he said, sitting up and gently grabbing Sam and Carly before they tumbled to the floor. "Let's go downstairs."

Twenty minutes later, Carly was prowling the length of the kitchen floor, and Sam was discreetly tearing apart a pair of knit socks, while Spencer googled. "I tried Ancient Cat Legends, Girls/Cats, Magic and Cats, and all I'm getting is stuff about black cats and- hey!" Spencer spun around in his seat, "Socko _made_ me those, you can't just-" Sam looked up at Spencer with big blue eyes, and he rolled his eyes. "Fine, demon cat. Tear away!"

"Thank you!" Sam grinned, as the door swung open.

"Hey Spencer! Are Carly and Sam-" Freddie's face went deathly pale, and he clapped his hand over his mouth. "Oh, no. No, no, no..."

Carly and Sam scurried over to Freddie, "What did you do?" Carly said.

Freddie ran his hands through his hair. "No..." he said weakly, and ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Spencer, Sam and Carly all exchanged glances, and Spencer started to giggle. "What?" said Sam, annoyed.

"Kittens!" Spencer replied. Sam bared her teeth, and Spencer jumped back a little. "You're still fluffy and adorable." he mumbled under his breath.

Before Sam could reply, Freddie swung the door open again, this time clutching something silky and argyle patterned. "We have to do a webcast." Freddie said gravely.

At this point, Carly had reached the end of her rope. "I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED, FREDDIE, BUT TODAY SAM AND I WOKE UP AS CATS. I THINK WHAT WE _HAVE_ TO DO RIGHT NOW IS FIND A WAY TO LOSE THE TAILS AND GET OUR OPPOSABLE THUMBS BACK!!" Then, she ran for the elevator, and upon realizing that she was nowhere near tall enough to punch the button on her own, she skidded and hit the door, growling in frustration.

Sam looked at Freddie, tilting her head, "Do you wear _argyle patterned boxers_?"

Freddie rolled his eyes and looked over to Spencer, who shrugged. "Hey, you made my sister into a cat, you do what you gotta do to fix it." Freddie sighed, and bent over, picking up Sam, then Carly.

"You can struggle, but I have no obligation to hold on to two squirmy cat-girls." Freddie said, heading up the stairs. "Seriously, though. We have to do a webcast."

When they got to the third floor, Freddie screwed his eyes shut and mumbled something that sounded like "NugNug be with me" as he nudged the door to the studio open with his foot. To his horror, and the girls' surprise, a shadowy figure stood in the centre of the room.

"MALIKA?!" Carly and Sam shrieked.

She turned around, her cloak-thing whirling around her. "You reconsidered my offer!" She said, smiling creepily.

"You turned my friends into _cats_!"

Malika shrugged, "Some say love makes a person crazy."

"Yeah, love,"mumbled Freddie sarcastically as he placed the girls on the floor. "I brought the stuff, can we just do this?"

"Of course," Malika said, "First?" She held out her hand, and Freddie quickly handed her the silk boxers.

Carly shuddered, and Sam gagged, quietly of course, and not in view of their crazy classmate. Malika grinned, and stuck the boxers into some hidden pocket of her outfit. "And second?"

Freddie sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. "Can't I just take you on a..." he swallowed, choking out the word, "Date, or something?"

Malika shook her head. "You promised."

Freddie groaned, and set up the camera equipment. "Alright," he said, walking in front of the camera. "We're on in five, four, th-oh, whatever." He pressed Sam's blue remote and the red recording light blinked on. "Hello, the internet." Freddie said, deadpan. "Today, we'll be broadcasting live, at nine thirty on a Saturday morning, a special episode of iCarly! Hopefully everyone is still in bed, I wouldn't want you losing precious weekend time for- ugh, OW, I mean, EVERYONE, I WARMLY WELCOME MY... MY... my girlfriend . Malika."

Carly and Sam exchanged a look as Malika made grand sweeping gestures with her hands, and Freddie pressed the applause button, looking like he was preparing himself to be castrated.

"Now, because this is a very special episode, Carly and Sam will not be appearing, nor will there be any skits or random dancing or... well. Or anything."

"Except!" Malika interrupted.

Freddie sighed, "Except, this." And he grabbed Malika's shoulder with the tips of his fingers, and planted a quick kiss to her lips. As he was about to pull away, Malika wrapped her hand around Freddie's neck, mashing their faces together. And, as Sam and Carly watched in horror, they felt a strange prickling feeling all over, and Carly gasped.

"Look, Sam, our hands!" Sam looked down, and saw that her hands were, in fact hands again, and she straightened her back, realizing that she was no longer six inches tall.

"MAMA'S BACK!" Sam yelled, jumping up and grabbing a prop orange. She beaned Malika in the head with it, and watched as she unlatched from Freddie, clutching her head. "_That,_ was for turning me into a cat,"  
Then, Sam reared back and tackled Malika to the floor, sitting on her stomach triumphantly. "And _that_, was for touching my tech producer." Freddie quickly ran around and turned off the camera, just as a huge puff of smoke went off, and Sam bounced off the floor, left scrambling at a single black sheet.

Carly and Freddie rushed over to see if Sam was okay, and once they helped her up and checked her out for fur, warts and scales, they grabbed her and pulled her in for a big hug.

"So," Carly said, pulling away a little, "It didn't work out, the whole 'letting her down easy' thing?"

Freddie laughed. "Not as well as I'd hoped, no."

"Gosh, so, you take her to a dance, then you say you don't want to date her, so she turns your friends into cats, steals your underwear, and mentally scars our entire fanbase of viewers? You sure know how to pick 'em Fredley."

Freddie stuck his tongue out at Sam, and she leaned over and licked it. "Augh! Oh god, Sam, ew!" Freddie groaned and jumped back, wiping his tongue on his shirt sleeve.

Sam grinned, and Carly laughed, slinging her arms around her friends and steering them toward the elevator. They could already hear Spencer yelling from downstairs. "WHAT A CREEPY LITTLE WITCH!!!"


End file.
